Meet the Stutters

Kate

  • 25
  • Recently became Mrs Stutter – Maiden name is Brown
  • Drinks a shit load of  Caramel Macchiato from the Dolce Gusto machine
  • Doesn’t drink enough water then moans about headaches
  • Loves burning candles – Even in the summer
  • Is very organised and loves notebooks, diarys, journals
  • Often loses her shit with her kids
  • Her kids don’t listen to her
  • Very indecisive
  • Contemplates dropping everything and heading back to the Maldives for some Moscow Mules

Jonny

  • 26
  • Works full time as a Sales Manager
  • Supports Bristol City and makes me go see Meg when they are on the telly
  • Farts a lot
  • Does the washing and the ironing – ‘If I could cook I’d be the dream husband’
  • Relies on black coffee to get him through the day
  • Blows out candles so ferociously that wax/wick goes everywhere
  • Very patient
  • Has very convenient bowel movement at 6.30pm when there’s things to be done with the kids
  • Parades around the bedroom with his top off asking if anyone ordered a hunk

Alfie

  • 4
  • Gets angry a lot
  • Only eats beige food
  • Pushes his sister off the sofa
  • Wees all over the toilet seat
  • Shouts down at bed time with reasons why he cant sleep – Doesn’t like his pillow, the clock is ticking to loud, he’s scared of the cat
  • Has the best time at pre school then doesn’t tell anyone about what he got up to
  • Spends most of his time being miserable
  • Loves YouTube but secretly closes the page down when Mummy or Daddy enter the room – People opening kinder eggs is his guilty pleasure

Lacey

  • 1.5
  • Gets angry easily – Don’t take snacks away from her
  • Loves Paw Patrol so much that her first word was Skye
  • Goes bat shit crazy when her Furby turns on – Obsessed
  • Doesn’t like sharing with older brother
  • Points at things and says ‘look’ all the time
  • Enjoys leaving fingerprints on patio doors and tv
  • Likes to eat yogurt by dipping her hand in the pot and licking her hand – By this I mean her whole fist, not just one finger
  • Has crazy curly hair
  • Likes naps
  • Is in love with Uncle Ben – Mummy’s brother, not the rice
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